I realize my last post was nearly a 1000 words so i thought for those who may not want to read it all then i’ve found the following pictures which help to describe how i turned to seeing escorts
Acting Out was an Escape for My Depression – I was in a dark place (& still am in some respects) & utterly feel nothing for myself and that i amount to nothing in this world. In short i’ve been depressed for a long time now and acting out & frequenting escorts was my escape from this reality.
I felt/feel depressed as i feel alone. Never ever had a girlfriend in 26 years and my closest friends & family live over 200 miles on the other side of the country. I guess the lack of having anyone to speak out to, to share your closest fears, to help pick u up, to make u feel something. No one i can share my pain with. This loneliness make me feel utterly numb & souless at times.
I feel depressed as i feel worthless about myself & my life. I also feel overwhelmed & fearful of the future. I feel like at times im heading no where. This anxiety just makes me feel utterly low and like crap for most of the time. I guess i often feel like this because i believed to have failed against my master plan for life (based on others like me) and now i’ve no idea how to get back on track. This fear, anxiety, stress often makes me feel pretty bad about myself and that i amount to nothing.
Acting Out & Seeking Escorts was my Escape from my depression , my hurt, my loneliness. It was the drug i thought would help me escape.
My Addiction has caused me to feel even worse : Instead my addiction has only ended caused me more harm and made me feel even more worthless, lonely & depressed. The initial high is short-lived and the low is often worse as a result.
In the spiral of sex addiction i’m probably at the “shame” stage (its only been 1 week since i last acted out).
If i’m to break free of this addiction cycle , i not only need to conquer this but most importantly resolve or control my low self worth, loneliness & depression which fuel my addiction. I believe that by only conquering these darker demons will i break of of my cycle & sex addiction.
Addicted to Escorts 